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Being Outed

— By 23 June 2014

So you’ve made the big leap and decided to finally tell someone that youre queer (awesome work!) or maybe someone has found out. So you make them pinky promise not to tell anyone else, but imagine if that someone broke their pink promise (totally not cool!)and suddenly, everyonein your lifeknows. For some in the queer community, this is far too often a painful reality.


How being outed can affect someone

Being outed to your family, friends, the wider community or all of the above is probably one of the most frightening things that could happen in the process of coming out. Such a situation can have quite severe effects on the mental health and emotions of a person.

When some of your friends, teachers, work colleagues or family members start to begin treating you differently, you might begin to feel isolated and scared and start to worry about how some people are going to react to the news.

Fear not! Tough times like this pass quickly as you adjust yourself to the situation at hand. You soon find out who amongst your friends and family are there to support you, and with their help, you can power through it and in the end, you will feel all the better without the stress and worry of having to hide it!

There are also heaps of awesome organisations out there that can offer help and services to anyone finding themselves in a difficult situation. All these places have fantastic, experienced and trainedstaff and volunteers dedicated to helping you out!

Helpful tips 

  • Take time to talk to the people that matter to you about being queer. Sit them down and explain to them what it is you feel and how much you appreciate their support.
  • Don’t isolate yourself from the situation. Keep involved in your usual activities and at school, university and/or work, it can be a great way to keep yourself grounded and keep your mind off the situation at hand.
  • Get yourself out there and make some new friends in the queer community! (Minus18 is a great place to start).


It’s not just you...

Remember! You're not alone in this! Countless other queer people have been outed by their friends and/or family and have been through or are also going through the same experiences as you. Here are a few words from some of our own Crew who have been outed:

‘I was outed as bi by my best friend in year 8, I got a lot of invasive, awkward questions, but in the end people were generally okay with it’ – Alice.

‘My mother outed me as trans on Facebook, it made me so angry at first, but after talking with each of my family member personally they now accept it’ – Marlee.

‘My girlfriend and I were outed as lesbians to the whole school at our graduation by being finalists for a ‘cutest couple’ competition, we received a lot of hate and even violence, but what really shone through was the incredible support of a lot people, some of whom we didn’t even know, it just really speaks volumes as to how beautiful and kind people can be’ – Jess.

‘I told my one of my closest friends, and she told her mother, one day my friends mother told my mum and I was upset and didn't understand why she had to say anything, but my mum was just confused as to why I didn't just tell her myself, she didn’t care at all’ – Andrew.


 Helpful organisations


Headspace are a national youth mental health foundation, dedicated to helping young people who are going through a tough time, and also have an online live chat service!

Online Chat Service

Ph: 1800 650 890  

Kids Helpline

Kids Helpline is a call service with friendly and helpful staff and volunteers that are always there to listen and give advice for kids, teens and young adults. 

Ph: 1800 55 1800


Lifeline is a 24-hour crisis support and suicide prevention hotline for anyone experiencing a tough time and need of help 

Ph: 13 11 14